The oldest women have the most satisfying sex lives, says science

The scientific community has put a lot of effort into prolonging the average human's life span, but rarely have they given us any real reason as to why. Well, the world may finally know! Accordingly to a scientifically crucial new study, women over eighty have totally enviable sex lives.

Per the study's results:

"Although frequency of arousal, lubrication, and orgasm decreased with age, the youngest (<55 years) and oldest (>80 years) women reported a higher frequency of orgasm satisfaction. Emotional closeness during sex was associated with more frequent arousal, lubrication, and orgasm; estrogen therapy was not. Overall, two thirds of sexually active women were moderately or very satisfied with their sex life, as were almost half of sexually inactive women."

Also:

"The youngest women had the highest frequency of orgasm (47.6%); however, 37.5% of the oldest women reported reaching orgasm almost always or always. Lack of difficulty reaching orgasm followed a similar distribution and trend. The highest orgasm satisfaction was reported in both the youngest and oldest women; approximately 42% of women in the youngest age quartile were very satisfied with their ability to reach orgasm, 35.4% in the second quartile, 37.7% in the third quartile, and 41.7% in the oldest quartile."

Get it, all you women over eighty! I have a newfound resolve to take vitamins, actually sleep, and stop spending hours standing in front o the microwave. Please though, let's all do ourselves a favor and skip the cougar jokes on this one.